What Dreams May Come
by IAmTheBadWolf1990
Summary: This was supposed to be a just quick deleted scene from Last Christmas but I just couldn't leave it alone so it does end up diverging from cannon a bit.
1. Chapter 1

The Doctor woke with a start. He'd just had the strangest dream. He was at the North Pole, complete with Santa and his two annoying elves, but there was someone else there too, someone important…

'Clara?'

He sat up and rubbed his fingers down his face. The dream was slipping away but he couldn't shake the feeling that he needed to hold onto it.

'Who's Clara?' asked a voice from across the room, causing the Doctor to freeze. 'And should I be worried?'

The Doctor slowly turned his head to face the speaker. Rose Tyler stood at the doorway smirking at him.

For a moment, he couldn't believe his eyes. How was she here? This shouldn't be possible… He shook his head, pushing the thought away. Of course Rose was here. Why wouldn't she be?

'Rose Tyler,' he said, getting up from the bed and walking towards her. 'You definitely have nothing to worry about.'

'Good,' she said smiling up at him, 'because I do believe someone promised to take me somewhere special for Christmas.'

The Doctor groaned. 'We're in a time machine. How could you possibly know when it's Christmas?'

'I just have a sixth sense about these things,' said Rose. 'And the TARDIS may have redecorated a bit.'

The Doctor frowned and stepped past her to look out into the hallway. Sure enough, it was elegantly decorated with tinsel, holly, and a few other decorations associated with the Earth holiday.

'You two have being conspiring against me again, haven't you?' he said turning back around to face Rose. 'These decorations really have to g-'

He stopped suddenly when he realised that she was closer than expected. She was smiling at him and he was once again struck by the sensation that something was off.

The confusion must have shown on his face because she looked pointedly towards the ceiling. He followed her gaze and smiled when he noticed what she was indicating. Mistletoe.

'Well, this decoration can stay,' he said, all doubts forgotten.

'Any excuse for a kiss?' asked Rose, giving him that tongue-touched smile he adored so much.

'Who said I needed an excuse?'

He let her laughter wash over him for a moment before placing a hand on her cheek and lowering his lips to hers.

Rose reached up to run her hands through his hair and the kiss suddenly went from something sweet and loving to something more desperate. Like each of them was worried it would be their last.

When the need for air finally kicked in, the Doctor reluctantly pulled away, resting his forehead against Rose's.

'Merry Christmas, Rose,' he whispered.

'Merry Christmas, my Doctor,' she replied.

That annoying feeling tugged at his mind again. The one that insisted that this couldn't possibly be real. He banished the thought by giving Rose another quick kiss before grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the room.

'Come on,' he said. 'I know the perfect place to take you.'

oOoOo

Once in the control room, the Doctor let go of Rose's hand and rushed to the console.

'So where is this so-called perfect place?' asked Rose.

'Just at the edge of the Andromeda galaxy,' replied the Doctor, setting the coordinates. 'The whole planet is covered in snow but blizzards are rare. It's actually more of a ski resort rather than a Christmas holiday spot but it has these creatures, they're like horses but ten times as strong and they can pull along on the sleighs quite easily.'

'Sleighs?'

'Didn't I mention that they could fly?'

Rose just shook her head, laughing. 'Sounds beautiful!'

'Oh, it is,' said the Doctor before pulling down the leaver that would send them on their journey.

With a great wheezing noise, the TARDIS landed and the Doctor offered Rose his arm.

'Shall we?'

She smiled and took his arm. The Doctor opened the doors to lead them outside but stopped suddenly and dropped Rose's arm. He stepped outside and took in his surroundings. This wasn't the Andromeda galaxy. The snow was right but there were definitely no flying horses in the sky. Instead, the Doctor watched as a very Earth-looking plane flew over a very Earth-looking house.

'This isn't where I want to be,' he said.

'But it's where you need to be,' said Rose, stepping out of the TARDIS. Her adventurous smile was gone, replaced by an expression the Doctor couldn't quite place.

'I don't understand,' he said.

Rose reached up and placed her hand on the side of his head. The Doctor instinctively closed his eyes and leaned towards her touch.

'How's your right temple?' she asked.

The nagging feeling that had been annoying him since he woke up returned and this time brought a sharp pain with it. The more he focussed on the pain, the more the feeling tugged at his mind. Something wasn't right.

'Clara needs you,' said Rose and the Doctor's eyes snapped open. Suddenly it all made sense.

'I'm dreaming,' he said and Rose nodded.

'And now you have to wake up,' she said. 'Clara, too. She needs your help and so do those people on that base.'

'What about me?' asked the Doctor. 'What about what I need?'

'What do you need, Doctor?'

'You.'

Rose smiled sadly. 'No you don't,' she said softly, lowering her hand. 'Not anymore.'

The Doctor grabbed her hand before it fell all the way to her side. 'Rose Tyler, I will always need you.'

Another unreadable emotion passed over Rose's face. 'I'm just a dream. I'm not real. But Clara and those people stuck at the North Pole are. Save them. Save _you_.'

The Doctor looked at the house uncertainly. He knew that Rose was right, Clara needed him, but it didn't make it any easier. How many times did he have to say goodbye?

He looked back at Rose. She looked just as she had done on that beach all those years ago. Well, if this was his dream then he was going to make the most of it. He leant down and kissed her soundly.

'Go,' whispered Rose once he had pulled away.

'Goodbye, Rose,' said the Doctor before turning and walking up to the front door of Clara's dream house.

He knocked on the door and turned to take one last look at Rose but the front yard was empty. A creaking sound signalled that Clara was opening the door and he turned back to face her.

'It's not real, Clara. You know it's not real. It's a dream and it's killing you.'

oOoOo

Rose watched the Doctor follow the brunette into the house.

'Why didn't you tell him?' asked a voice from beside her.

Rose turned to face the man in the famous red suit.

'It's too late for me,' she said, rubbing her right temple. 'He can't save me and you know how guilty he gets. It would only distract him. Now he can save himself and the others. It's better this way.'

'You could always wake up,'

'I can't. I tried.'

'Did you?' Rose gave Santa a stern look which he returned before sighing. 'Fine, have it your way then. But if you change your mind, you know where to find me. It's never too late, Rose.'

Rose watched Santa walk away out of the corner of her eye before returning her gaze to the house in front of her. No doubt the Doctor was doing his best to convince his friend that they were dreaming. And then they would go back to the North Pole and figure out that that is a dream too. And then they would wake up. Then they would be safe.

'It's better this way,' she whispered to herself.


	2. Chapter 2

The Doctor sat up with a start, the remains of the dream crab crumbling at his side.

'Clara!'

He rushed into the TARDIS and set the coordinates and it wasn't long before he was running down the hallway of Clara's flat, glass case in hand.

He had just entered her bedroom when she awoke with a gasp and the dream crab dethatched itself from her face and started to crumble.

'I was just about to save you,' pouted the Doctor.

Clara ignored him. She sat up and started frantically searching for something on her bedside table.

'I had the glass case ready and everything,' the Doctor continued.

Clara found what she was looking for (a mirror) and held it up to examine her reflection. She breathed a sigh of relief.

'I'm still young,' she said.

The Doctor was still pouting at his robbed act of heroism. 'I rushed all the way here, changed the settings on the sonic…'

'I get it, Doctor,' said Clara sharply before her features softened. 'Thank you for coming to my rescue.'

The Doctor smiled. 'I should've known you wouldn't need me. So what made you wake up? Some wise words from Santa Clause?'

'No, actually. It was a woman.'

'Jane Austen?'

'No. I'd never seen this woman before. She sort of appeared out of nowhere. Told me I had to wake up. Said that you needed me.'

The Doctor looked around the room, avoiding Clara's knowing gaze. 'Well, I wouldn't pay too much attention. She was only a dream, after all.'

'Maybe…'

The Doctor looked at Clara once more, she looked thoughtful. 'What do you mean?'

'Nothing… It's just…'

'Just what?'

"I got the impression that she knew you. _Really_ knew you, I mean.'

'What did she look like?'

'Blonde.'

The Doctor fought to keep his concern from showing on his face. Could it possibly have been Rose? No. Impossible. Clara had never seen Rose before. What are the odds that Clara would dream of her face? But if it was Rose then that could mean…

'Clara, I need you to concentrate because this is very, very important. Who was this woman? Did she give you a name?'

Clara shook her head. 'No but Santa seemed to know her. He said her name… I can't remember. It's slipping away.'

'Try, Clara. Please.'

Clara looked at the Doctor curiously, tilting her head slightly. 'Why?' she asked. 'Why do you care so much?'

'No, don't distract yourself,' said the Doctor. 'What was her name?'

'You think you know who she is, don't you? You just want me to confirm it.'

'What was her name?'

'Did you dream about her too?'

'What. Was. Her. Name.'

'ROSE!' Clara practically shouted before lowering her voice back to normal. 'Santa called her Rose.'

The Doctor stared at Clara in shock before grabbing her hand to pull her out of bed. 'Come on, the TARDIS is outside. Let's go.'

'Go where?' asked Clara, allowing herself to be dragged out her front door.

'To find another dream crab.'

They reached the TARDIS and the Doctor clicked his fingers to unlock the door. There was no time to waste on stupid things like keys. Once inside, he let go of Clara's hand and headed to the console. He needed to scan for another dream crab.'

'I don't understand,' said Clara. 'Why do you want another crab?'

'Because you were right; I did know it was Rose. But I needed you to confirm it.'

'She appeared in your dream too, didn't she?'

'Yes but that doesn't mean anything. You dreamed about P.E. but it was still just a dream.'

'So what makes Rose different?' asked Clara, sounding slightly annoyed. He probably should have been a bit more respectful about Danny's death. He would have to make it up to her later.

'Because you dreamed about her,' he said, pointing at Clara.

'Why that does that matter?'

'They say that the human mind cannot invent a new face. That every face you dream of you have seen at some point in your life. No way of knowing for sure, of course, but what if it's true? It would be perfectly plausible for me to dream about someone I travelled with for two years but you, Clara Oswald, had never seen Rose before. Not even a picture. So how is it that she appeared in your dream?'

'The same way that Shona and the others appeared.'

'Exactly.'

The Doctor watched as the realisation dawned on Clara. 'She's real too,' she said. 'She's lying somewhere with a dream crab attached to her face…'

'And it's killing her,' the Doctor finished. 'That's why I need another dream crab. I have to go back and save her like she saved me.'

The TARDIS console beeped and the Doctor turned to look at the screen. 'Found one,' he said before setting the coordinates and pulling down the lever.

Moments later, the TARDIS landed in an old abandoned house. Cobwebs and vines hung from the ceiling and moss lined the floor.

'How do we find it?' asked Clara, looking around the room warily.

Just keep thinking about it and it will find us,' replied the Doctor, sonic screwdriver at the ready.

'That's not comforting,' said Clara.

'It wasn't meant to be.'

They hadn't strayed too far from the TARDIS when they heard a scuttling noise above them. They looked towards the ceiling in unison and a dream crab lunged towards them. But the Doctor was ready for it. He held his screwdriver in the air and pressed a button. The tip glowed green and the dream crab dropped to the floor, intact but immobile.

The Doctor picked up the crab and placed it in his glass case. 'Gotcha.' His victory was short lived however as he heard more scuttling sound coming towards him. 'I think we had better get back to the TARDIS,' he said, a hint of urgency in his voice.

Clara did not need telling twice and they both bolted for the TARDIS.

Closing the doors behind them, the Doctor and Clara breathed a sigh of relief. They were safe. Well, safe for those dream crabs anyway. The one in the glass case was just starting to stir.

The Doctor sat on the floor of the control room and placed the case in front of him. Clara followed suit. 'Now what?' she asked.

'Now I go back,' said the Doctor, handing her the sonic screwdriver. 'I set the sonic to the right frequency so all you have to do is point and press. Don't let me stay any longer than five minutes.

'Are you sure you don't want to do this somewhere more comfortable?'

'Here is fine. Now, are you ready?'

'As I'll ever be.'

The Doctor smiled. 'Clara Oswald, my life is on your hands. No pressure.'

He lifted the top off of the glass case and the dream crab latched itself onto his face.

oOoOo

The Doctor sat up and looked around. He was in exactly the same spot on the TARDIS control room floor where he had been before but Clara was gone. The room was dark, like the TARDIS was running on emergency power, but it was just light enough for the Doctor to realise that the desktop was different. It was back to Coral.

The Doctor stood up and looked around the room. His eyes rested on a familiar figure sitting on the jump seat, her head back with her eyes closed. She was deathly pale.

The Doctor walked around the console and knelt down beside her. 'Rose...' he said gently and the blonde opened her eyes and lowered her head to look at him.

Recognition dawned on her and she smiled (and did the console room just get a bit brighter?). 'Come to see me off?' she asked. 'Not long now.' The Doctor lifted his hand to her right temple and see leant in to the touch, mirroring their actions from the Doctor's earlier dream. 'I'm a bit surprised. I was expecting a different you, one of the ones I travelled with. Not that I'm disappointed. I quite liked this you.' She gave him a weaker version of her usual cheeky smile.

She thought he wasn't real, the Doctor realised.

'Rose, I'm not a dream,' he said. 'And neither are you. Wake up.'

She shook her head. 'You can't be real. I sent the real Doctor away. I made sure he would have someone to look after him. To keep him safe.'

'Typical Rose Tyler, always worried about keeping other people safe and forgetting to keep herself out of danger. But please listen to me. I'm real. I came back to get you. Now wake up! Don't think I'm not afraid to slap you out of this.'

Rose stared at him for a moment before her eyes widened.

'Doctor?'

'Yes.'

'What are you doing here?'

'What does it look like? I'm saving you.'

'No. You were supposed to stay safe. You weren't supposed to be here. You need to leave! I… I don't want you to see me like this.'

'Is that why you didn't tell me?'

'I didn't want you blaming yourself.'

'But I could have helped! I _can_ help! Rose, wake up. It's not too late.'

'It would have only distracted you. You needed to save those people.'

A terrifying thought crossed the Doctor's mind. 'You don't want to wake up.'

Rose lowered her gaze and shifted uncomfortably on the jump seat. 'I just want it to be over,' she finally said.

The Doctor stared at her in shock. What could have possibly happened to make Rose, the most alive person he knew, wish for death?

'What happened?' he asked once he had found his voice again.

'Life happened… and it kept on happening. Been happening for about 300 years now. Everybody's gone. Mum, Dad, Tony… the other you. I buried them all centuries ago.'

The Doctor knew all to well how that felt. _The curse of the Time Lords_ , he had once called it but now it seemed he had passed his curse onto someone else as well.

'Bad Wolf?' he asked already knowing the answer (because what else could it be?). Rose nodded. 'I'm sorry,' he said. 'If I'd known…'

'Then you would have still saved me. Don't apologise for that.'

'I'm not. Rose, if I'd known you weren't aging than things would have been different. I wouldn't have fought so hard…'

He didn't need to finish his sentence. He knew that Rose would know what he meant.

'What about now?' asked Rose.

'Rose, I'm an old man now.'

'Didn't seem to bother you earlier.'

'Well, that was when I thought I was just dreaming.'

'It didn't bother me.'

The Doctor looked at her for a moment, studying her face. It was moment or two before her smile faded. 'It doesn't matter, anyway,' she said. 'I'm still in another dimension. Still out of reach.'

'I can get there. I don't know how long it will take me but I can do it,' said the Doctor.

'But the walls are closed. You can't get through without risking both universes and I won't let you do that.'

'Oh, Rose Tyler, don't you worry. The universe will be quite safe. Travelling between dimensions used to be easy when the Time Lords were around and once I find them, it will be easy again.'

'Find them? Doctor, you're not making any sense. You told me you couldn't go back.'

The Doctor smiled. 'It turns out that I could… so I did. They're alive, Rose. Missing but alive. I didn't kill them. You stopped me. You and Clara.'

'Me?'

'It's complicated but when you absorbed the time vortex, you saw everything that had happened and everything that could happen and you saw a way to fix it. So you gave me a little push in the right direction.'

'I still don't get it,' she said, holding her head in pain.

The Doctor reached up to pull her hand away. 'It doesn't matter. What matters is that I can find you. I _will_ find you. You're not out of reach.'

To prove his point he lifted his free hand to the back of her head and pulled her forward, crashing his lip to hers. Rose whimpered slightly but responded to the kiss with equal force.

The kiss came to its natural end and the Doctor pulled away to look Rose in the eyes.

'Now wake up so I can do that for real.'


End file.
